June is Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month, and it’s about time men stopped and properly talked to their mates about it. Mental health is still a massive ongoing issue, and we’ve all witnessed firsthand the effect it can have on anyone and the devastating impact it can leave behind. Whilst the discussion around mental health and its long-lasting impact on people isn’t new, something that does need to be raised more frequently is the large percentage of individuals who are afraid to talk about it.
Whether it be with themselves or with friends, health is still an issue many men approach as a taboo topic – something deemed weak, and something some are even outright afraid to talk about. This needs to change. Over 75% of all suicides are men, a statistic that is frighteningly too large, and being able to engage in conversation on this topic can help save lives. Men need to be able to have conversations about health, whether it be their own physical health, mental health, or even their mates’. We’ve seen recently the effects this can have, men who don’t check in on themselves or their mates leave themselves exposed to suicide and major mental health problems, which can often result in violence. Some even outright ignore serious physical health concerns, which leads to further harm when it remains unchecked.
The importance of being able to openly talk about these things is essential to finding a remedy, we need to be curious about our health. If you’re having bad thoughts, talk to someone. If you see a friend saying something out of character or doing something inappropriate to someone else, pull them aside and ask what’s going on. The benefit of this isn’t just for men, but for everyone. The solution has to start with men checking in on themselves and their mates. If men can become better at addressing their own health, it’ll massively assist in being able to help others talk through theirs.
I’ll even admit that I, too, am pretty crap at this and need to be better. Just a few weeks ago, I had been ignoring a health concern, and after months of avoiding it and not talking about it, I raised it with my father. He told me off for not talking sooner. His main point of frustration was that during the entire time we talked, I kept apologising for inconveniencing him with this problem. He informed me that these things aren’t safe to keep to yourself, and we need to be better, as men, when talking about our problems with people. Something he said that stood out to me was, “We often get our car serviced, we need to get us serviced.” Like he usually is, he’s right (don’t tell my dad I said he’s right — I’ll never hear the end of it). Isolation is the greatest enemy when it comes to health. I can’t tell you where this comes from, but I know of so many men who feel fear when needing to address their own health concerns, people who would rather choose to ignore it and try to hide it from their friends and family. This only leads to further harm to themselves and those around them, and cannot be helped if kept silent. To this day, I still haven’t told my family about how I tried to take my own life when I was 18.
Something that has stayed with me long after that event was that, shortly after it happened, I was at a larger family function. An uncle of mine, with whom I’d never shared a deeper conversation beyond, “How much do you think NSW will lose by in State of Origin?”, said to me, “Don’t lie to me. What happened? Are you okay? Please know I love you, mate.” I didn’t tell him what happened, but I could tell he knew, as I’m sure my parents probably did too, and his trying to engage with me at that time was all I needed. His checking in was all I needed to know I wasn’t alone, I had support, and that it could be anywhere even in places you least expect. This is what we need to be encouraging for ourselves and all those around us. It’s okay to speak up, it’s okay to check in, and it’s okay to talk about what’s wrong.
It has never been more important than right now to check in with yourself and your closest friends. The world is a scary place right now, and the last thing we need is to feed our downward spirals when they occur. It’s okay to say “I’m not okay.” It’s okay to be scared, and if something does scare you, reach out for help. If not for yourself, do it for your friends and your family who love you, because good friends and family want to know about these things. Reach out to your best mate, your brother, sister, girlfriend, father, or even that colleague who seems a little flat today, and check in. Don’t be afraid to look after yourself so you can better look after others.
Be that uncle.
If you or anyone you know is struggling, Lifeline can support. Reach out for help on 13 11 14.
